There’s Another Way
A third option between pushing harder and crashing out.
For most of my life, I’ve had two speeds. Full throttle or parked.
And I don’t mean that as a compliment. It’s just how I’ve always operated.
When I committed to something, I went all in. Bodybuilding. Yoga. Work. Learning a new skill. If I cared about it, I gave it everything I had. I would even stack goals. No space in between. Accomplish one thing and move on to the next. No celebration. No pause. Just keep going.
Until I hit my limit. Then I didn’t just slow down. I stopped.
That was my pattern for decades. Push until I got it done. Rest until I felt guilty. Start over. Repeat. I thought those were my only two options. Go full force or do nothing at all.
That worked like a charm until it didn’t.
A hip injury forced everything to stop.
At first, I thought I’d rest it, ice it and be back in action within 24 hours. No such luck. Ultimately I had to have surgery.
Recovering from a hip arthroscopy has been a masterclass in nervous system regulation. Because recovery doesn’t care how motivated you are. You can’t cram six months of healing into six weeks just because you’re disciplined. You can’t outwork biology.
A few days ago I had one of my hardest rehab days since surgery. I spent an hour in physical therapy working on walking, balance, and strength. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I took some Tylenol, iced my hip, and ended up sleeping for two hours.
When I woke up, I didn’t think I’d done too much. I wasn’t wondering if I’d set myself back.
My only thought was, Man, I worked hard today. My body needed that rest.
That kind of thinking caught me off guard. A year ago, that wouldn’t have been my response. Back then, needing two hours of sleep would’ve felt like proof that I’d failed.
Somewhere during rehab, that started to change. I knew rest is a part of the plan. You do the work. You rest. Then you get up and do it again tomorrow. That got me thinking this is how I want to approach my whole life.
I don’t need to wait until I hit a wall before I make an adjustment.
Somewhere along the way, I bought into the idea that nervous regulation was only about calming down. But its real power is flexibility, having the capacity to move between activation and recovery as the situation requires.
It’s about staying in the game.
That feels like a much better way to build a life.
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If this resonated with you, I’d love to have you here. Every week I write about ambition, identity, and nervous system regulation, exploring how to pursue meaningful goals without constantly having to start over.